Tag Archives | relationships

Does the Dalai Lama Live with ADHD?

Eastern Attention Develops in the West

The Dalai Lama

The Dalai Lama as a child

Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia is becoming known as Tibet West. Together with professors at Emory, the Dalai Lama has cultivated an academic exchange relationship spanning over twenty years. A goal of this academic and scientific collaboration of Emory professors and Tibetan monks is to develop a new scientific vocabulary in the Tibetan language in order for the monks and nuns to be able to learn cell biology, an academic topic never before offered to them. The Dalai Lama initiated this pairing to better understand the universe and the value of Buddhism as it applies to creation and to enlightenment (this is my interpretation of their mission in the west).

Biology and Buddhism

It seems that his holiness, the Dalai Lama, was given free reign over much of his time as a child living in the palace. There he roamed the palace rooms full of treasures, gifts from leaders across the world, and in one room he found a telescope. The Dalai Lama was curious and his tutors allowed his intelligence to lead his interests so that he developed an awareness and knowledge of the stars and science, previously not offered in Buddhist education. From that spark, he found his way to microscopes and became curious about cells and molecules and his curiosity led to a deeper desire to understand the world and science and hence, a deeper experience of Buddhism.

Intelligence and Attention

The child Dalai Lama was monitored by loving monks whose job was to develop in him an aesthetic sense of his place in the world, and to develop skills he would need to lead his people in both the spiritual and political life of Tibet. Nonetheless, he was allowed to drift and come upon what interested him. The same is true today. A story is told of him visiting Emory Hospital for a meeting. In order to get to the meeting, he had to walk down a long hall lined with people waiting for medical services. The Dalai Lama stopped to say something to every person in the hallway. That kindness is his natural inclination no matter who is waiting for him. The Emory escort finally had to insist the Dalai Lama conclude his visiting in the hallway in order to attend the meeting. It is my suggestion that his narrow attention to one thing appears to be a distraction to observers. His impulsive nurturing would be viewed as disruptive to some while others would see it as a kind behavior.

While the Tibetans are in exile, their leader pays attention to a compassionate relationship with Chinese oppressors. In so doing, he exports the Buddhist values of attention in its many forms, meditation as a type of healing attention, and exemplifies how to use attention in a difficult world.

It is a rare privilege today for our children to pay attention to what they are really interested in. Can you remove from your homes or their sports activities one of their daily distractions and observe how they then choose to use their attention? There may be a few ruffled feathers at first but with patience and nurturing your child may develop a new interest that cultivates their developing mind. In what room in your home will they discover their strengths and personal interests?

Your Attention Coach

Maureen Nolan

maureen@yourattentioncoach.com

 

 

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My Personal ADHD Challenges – FYI

Living with Some Degree of Transparency and Lots of Compassion

Stop the ADHD Madness

Stop the ADHD Madness

There are life qualifications and there are academic qualifications leading to my choice of  professional ADHD Coaching. I choose to put some of my personal stories out here since my recovery from them are part of the reason I decided to coach people with ADHD. You don’t have to wait as long as I did to get the right ADHD support.

You can thrive with ADHD!

During my almost 60 years of living with ADHD I have:

  • struggled academically; but I am presently enrolled in a master’s program in counseling with a 3.56 GPA
  • impulsively moved out of state looking for love (in my twenties);
  • impulsively changed careers;
  • impulsively spoken out of turn (otherwise known as interruption)
  • been estranged from family
  • fixed things with words and love; with screw drivers and hammers; with needle and thread; and with compassion.
  • been the class dreamer…’if only Maureen would pay more attention to her studies…’
  • applied and been accepted in three master’s programs. I left architecture when I realized I was being trained for a life of late nights and ridiculous deadlines. I became a magazine editor instead.
  • irritated the heck out of people with my hyperactivity…leg shaking, finger tapping, leg crossing and uncrossing, etc.
  • been married and divorced due to challenges with relationships and ADHD
  • successfully raised two children with severe plus-sized ADHD. My daughter now teaches at the Georgia Institute of Technology. She is happily married. My son is finishing his B.A. in music technology and film composition and has an AA from Landmark College. He has already composed a score for his first feature film!
  • lost many friends but gained the wisdom of how to choose the ones that stick around through thick and thin.
  • I show up as a woman swimming in a sea of family addictions. There is not one addiction I haven’t heard about or more importantly, known someone or been related to someone seeking treatment or someone who should seek treatment. Try me!
  • been fired. I have also known great personal success in my professional history.
  • been bullied.
  • designed clothes, words, jewelry, portraits, home interiors, gardens, businesses and more, all with love and compassion
  • created solutions
  • been physically assaulted. More than once.
  • been encouraged to seek more education because I was seen as underemployed.
  • invented, created, composed, written, edited, and drawn.
  • not believed in myself.
  • lost God and found God over and over. My belief is there is a special place in the universe for people with ADHD. I have particular personal knowledge of Catholicism, Episcopalianism, and Buddhism.
  • had great financial comfort and less than that, too.

In addition, I have family experience with Holocaust survivors.

If any of the above sounds familiar, I may be the ADHD coach for you.

You too, can move past and through these challenges and maintain personal integrity.

Call me at 404-713-0488 and let’s stop the madness.

Maureen Nolan

Your Attention Coach

404-713-0488

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Attention Workshop Starting in July

Create a New Relationship with Attention

Our Energy/Attention Flows Naturally When We Live as Beings of Light

Learn to Nurture Your Attention

In this introductory workshop series we’ll use the ‘Living as Light’ workbook by Brent Baum for the 12 Principles of Manifestation. You’ll learn:

  • the relationship between body/mind memories
  • the value of DayDreams
  • how to develop and explore your relatioship with attention and release your blocks to attention
  • how to apply this knowledge to business and relationships

Meeting each week for an hour and a half using group conversations and guided imagery/meditation techniques, we create an energetic relationship with attention. There will be reflections for in between sessions.

Where: Decatur, Georgia (location given on registration)

When: Wednesdays July 22, 29, August 5, 12, 19, 26

Time: 7 – 8:30 pm

Fees:  Registration payment deposit of $40 (using PayPal, $44)

Complete payment of $240 ($244 by PayPal) if after July 17, or by July 17 early bird payment of $180 ($184 by payPal)

For more information about this groundbreaking workshop, the first of its kind in Georgia contact Maureen Nolan at 404-713-0488 or email maureen@yourattentioncoach.com.

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Thriving with Attention

 

long-haired boys in white raincoats

long-haired boys in white raincoats

Twenty minutes of sunshine and fresh air (with a little pollen) and three dogs are walked. They aren’t winded even though it’s been weeks since I’ve walked them. My boys thrive with attention. They don’t ask for much more than a daily routine of caring attention. The more attention they receive the more content they appear.

My boys, Ollie and Trapper (the third is a visiting granddog Hondo, not shown in picture) have the run of a forested backyard but they’re really house dogs. Some of the attention they receive is my watching them. Trapper – the black one and alpha – really likes for me to watch him run off the deck in to the woods and he’ll stay in place looking at me and waiting for my complete attention and encouragement before he takes off.

My daughter Ellie was about six when she stood on the diving board at the pool, shouting for me to watch her. I watched and watched. Then she said ‘tell me to dive in, Mommy’. But I didn’t. I thought she would do it just out of sheer fun and adventure. Ever have an attention moment that got by you? That was one moment she and I both remember. I spent years after shouting from the sidelines of her sports events to the point where she told me to stop. I have watched her graduate from college and get married (with a more demure shout and a few tears). So now, even at 24 years old I fully support her in everything she wants – she still wants my attention. It’s different in nature and in frequency now and I have the boys to encourage to jump. She’s thriving because of a foundation of attention that I finally learned how to give.

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Do Friends tell Friends ‘You Have ADHD’?

Yesterday I ran in to two ‘old’ friends at lunch. We talked about our children, what’s happened to each of us in the past few years and what we’re doing now. At one point one woman casually commented that ‘she had ADD’ as part of the conversation flow. When it got to my turn to share my new business (to them), that I coach people about attention and that many of my clients live with ADHD, they had lots of questions, especially the ‘big’ one: ‘Hey, do you think I have ADHD?’

It’s one thing to tell a friend there’s a green thing in their teeth but something completely different to say ‘you have ADHD’. Early in the game I did suggest to a friend that she probably lived with ADHD. I was so excited about what I was learning that I couldn’t help but apply it to everyone. It was way better than sharing a cookie. It was life changing information! But believe me she was not happy that I shared with her my joy at her disability.

So among other things I said ‘There are three markers of an attention disorder – inattentiveness, impulsivity and distractibility not counting hyperactivity.’ And I let them take it from there, all of us laughing at all the ways they were impulsive and distracted. What I didn’t say was that I’m attracted to people with ADHD because I live with it. Like is attracted to like. They concluded that it didn’t matter to them anyway because they weren’t having to make a living. And that’s where it stands with anyone – it’s only a problem to live with ADHD if it interferes with your life. But it can make you creative and impulsively available to family and friends and it is a source of fun and laughter, too.

What’s your favorite ADD moment?

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