What is the state of your attention?
Attention hygiene has run (and/or ruined) some of my life’s decisions. After college, I paid attention to the broader categories of life’s necessities: I considered food, shelter and clothing as my starting point for a career decision. I decided to pay attention to shelter and I was subsequently accepted into a masters’ architecture program. The second year of the program came around and I realized I would have to do another charrette, and it caught my attention that late nighters would be a regular part of my life as an architect. I became an architectural/engineering magazine editor instead, paying attention to my two academic interests.
When my husband proposed to me, I paid attention to the manner in which he did it and still married him. Then over the course of two decades, I paid attention to the way in which he paid attention to me and we are now divorced.
Attention, the fourth of life’s necessities. Research has shown that without attention, infants will not develop normally. People go to great lengths to get attention. Attention may be more important than possessions, but fancy cars and bling get a lot of attention that is enjoyed by their owner. Attention, as an entity, has its own need for attention. What do you do to develop your attention? Attention Development was first suggested to me by Dr. Mel Levine. Dr. Levine requested I use the phrase attention development instead of ADD Coaching to describe my work. And thinking about it has led me to wonder about attention hygiene.
My physical hygiene includes cleanliness and habits of dress, medical visits, choice of diet and exercise. What can be done for my attention hygiene? How does one pay attention to attention, a quality of our personality? An outgrowth of our circumstances. The focus of our pleasure. The admonishment of our parents and partners. PAY ATTENTION! What requires attention? Everything!!!
How is your attention hygiene?
What are you doing right now to cultivate your attention? Can it even be done? How do you cleanse attention? Sherbet is a lovely palate cleanse between courses at a fine restaurant. What kind of cleansing can you use transitioning from one course of attention during the day to another? These are transitional or cleansing moments when we change the focus of attention. Hundreds of transitions occur during the day – physical, emotional, and all are attentional in nature. Some are obvious, like starting the car. Others are automatic, like looking at the source of a loud sound. There are combined transitions that might be called multi-tasking, but the truth is we can only attend one thing at a time, no matter how closely they follow in sequence.
In personal relationships, attention is the strongest at the beginning. Who can get enough of romantic attention? Who doesn’t miss the attention when it wanes? A recent client was spending time with a romantic interest. She would recount hours of time together, but not any intentional movement. You know the movie in theaters, ‘He’s Just Not That Into You?’ She finally realized that she was working to get his attention and decided to stop. Attention is freely given in romance. When it starts to feel like work, it’s no longer romance.
Pay attention to your objects of attention. Put them through your attentional washer and dryer. Clear your mind through attention hygiene. Meditate on a theme of cleansing, like sitting under a waterfall. It’s soothing and refreshing. Your ability to pay attention to what’s important to you will increase.
