Tag Archives | change

Who Sees a Changed Mind?

Coaching Guides Change in Clients

Changing

Changing

Do you remember the statue game? Someone would be It. The rest of us children would become the statues taking our positions around the yard. At an undetermined time, the It person would shout out ‘change!’ Then the children statues would change their position very quickly. Someone would be out – I think the one thrown out wouldn’t have heard the command or would be too slow or didn’t change enough. The winds of time have blown the details away.

What I remember though was the importance of changing. It was a physical shift that counted in the game. If I changed my mind it wouldn’t have counted. Who can see a changed mind?

People living with ADHD seem to have problems with change both mental and physical. Either they change behavior or their mind too much, too fast, or they change in ways that irritate people around them. The world expects their change to be smooth and easy and NOW.

Who is taught to change?

My Irish grandmother called every new behavior a stage. ‘Oh, it’s just a stage she’s going through.’ But stage or not, change is the point of living. Coaching teaches people how to change in ways the client chooses. Reported in an article on coaching in the ADHD Coaches Organization newsletter:

Coaching helps people in three ways:

1.A coach allows leaders to reflect about their decisions, and about themselves. A great many coaches used the term ‘awareness’ in describing the benefits of coaching.

2. People usually avoid difficult truths. Coaching brings reality front and center. As one coach put it: “Executives [ed. note: and many people with ADHD also] don’t have anyone to trust and tell the truthabout where they need development. ”

3. People don’t know how to change. A coach can guide a client to find replacements for behavior that’s not working.

Are you ready to change? Now? Now? OK, then when?

For ‘Change!’ call Maureen Nolan, Your Attention Coach

404-713-0488 maureen@yourattentioncoach.com

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It’s Easier to be Successful with ADD than to Make Excuses

ADD Attention to Excuse Recovery

Excuses, excuses. They are the bane of life with ADHD. How often are excuses used and how much creative energy goes into making them believable? How close to lieing do they come? Are they lies and deceptions? Is there an edge of excitement that goes along with an excuse? Is it believable? What is its value? Can you keep track of the excuse and how often is the same one used?

I first remember thinking about excuses when an aunt told me she thought my mom had made too many excuses for me and my sisters when we were young. The comment felt like a double insult – one to me and then one to my mother. I still have a physical reaction when I remember her comment. Then years passed and excuses were made and used to get me into and out of trouble – too many commitments, too many appointments missed, too many friends miffed at me. Something began to dawn on me – a routine use of excuses was unhealthy. It was not mindful living.

Change behavior and change your life.

Once I got it and it took a really long time to get it – then I began to see that excuses weren’t necessary. It’s a simple thing to say no in the first place; it’s important for me to gauge my time because no-one else will do it! I realized I made excuses for my children, just like my mom with the same unknown dimension: the ADHD factor. Learning about ADHD I have learned about excuses.

My clients learn that in our coaching the ‘homework’ is done or not done. The excuses have no meaning unless we backtrack to the core event, emotion, feeling or challenge that puts the excuse mobile into motion. I struggle with disruptive behavior of my own, inattentiveness and distractions all day every day. I’m a pretty classic case study of standard ADHD so I know what’s going on for my clients.

I believe that a twelve step approach to changing your excuse use will get it under control while simultaneously learning about your brand of ADHD will lead to more time living in success and less time living in fear of being ‘found out’.

What was your most creative excuse and what is your new understanding of the inherent value of excuse recovery?

Call Maureen Nolan, ADHD Coach for ADHD Coaching at 404-713-0488

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