The first major transition in my life was our family move to Atlanta, Ga. from Cleveland, OH when I was ten years old. My mother said I cried half-way through the several day drive. I left behind my cousins and friends and everything I knew and felt comfortable around to arrive in the American South of 1963; it was a land of accents and heat and summer rain storms and incomparable natural beauty and racial discrimination. I believe I became a ‘problem’ for the first time, fighting and feeling left out. I did not transition well.

If you are moving your children to a new location;

• create immediate comfort with group play and sports organizations;
• create leadership opportunities;
• enroll your child in classes where he/she already excels for continued self-esteem.

Peer Groups are Important to Thrive with ADHD

My second major transition was to a public high school from a parochial school in our neighborhood. My mother was already driving my older sister in a carpool to her private Catholic high school and did not want to drive another (this was 1967 when driving was a limited activity and 20 minutes in each direction was an official outing), so I walked to the nearby public school. I did not transition well, feeling isolated among yet another new group of peers. I isolated myself further and appeared ‘shy’.

• If at all possible keep your child with his/her group of friends for high school
• Isolation is unhealthy – create an ongoing opportunity for your child to be involved in leadership training
• Just because your child is quiet and well-behaved does not mean he/she is happy – talk, talk, talk with your child about everything.

Start ADHD Coaching Before Leaving for College

The third major transition was to college in St. Louis where I had lots of family to visit and be comfortable around but it was a difficult transition as again all my ‘support systems’ of a few friends and the familiarity of my surroundings were gone along with any sense of being tethered. I was a wild child for a while and rue the day I was let loose without structure.

• Get your student a coach! Learning to live away from home is a skill – it’s not natural to be on your own since we are community beings.
• At the same time, your student needs to learn to self-motivate. A coach is a transition figure in your student’s life – the transition from your roof to being independent.
• You need independence, too! Get yourself a coach to transition you through the empty nest years.

I’ve since transitioned into the work world, marriage and motherhood, each with its challenges and happiness. I’m transitioning after divorce now, and I have discovered the same is true for all my transitions: Setting Goals and creating support relationships make my life work. I am now working with other entrepreneurs in a supportive group setting at New Tricks where we share our business goals, challenges and successes.

Life is More Fun with Support!

What works for you during transition?

I believe that the universe is conspiring for your success.

I believe that there is enough of everything for everyone.

I believe that love is the answer.

I believe that education is power.

I believe that attention is the gift of being human to be treasured, honored and cultivated to the dignity of the planet’s health.

I believe that we can give attention away to be misused or we can develop skills towards its management.

I believe that attention is a state of consciousness similar to feelings and actions.

I believe that attention is a necessity of life that transcends food, shelter and clothing. Without attention can we achieve the rest of life’s necessities?

What do you believe?

Thanks to Grant Henry for today’s quote.

Itch to Calm Your Bug Bites

There’s a web of skin between my little finger and ring finger with a bug bite, a little red, raised itchy angry spot shouting for my attention. And there’s another one on my left ankle. And another on my middle right toes, not counting the river of bumps under my right forearm. Something is is under my right shoulder blade and suddenly my left front thigh is shouting out for an  equal opportunity scratch.

By now, you’re itching, aren’t you. Don’t stop. Share the agony with me. This itch is something that I want to share with everyone. I’m bitten up from my toes to my neck, from shoulder to shoulder, from stomach to lower back. I feel like the little girl I once was who woke up one morning to discover bites all over my stomach and back because of  a hole in the window screen.

This time however, I was way more active seeking out the bugs from the meadow to the lake to the waterfall and back again. I worked at acquiring each and every bite walking up the steep slope and down the dirt path. That night my friends and I laughed at stories about bed bugs while anesthetizing ourselves with fine wine. I had a ball but next time, I’m bringing bug spray.

What do you do about bug bites? Epsom salts? Crosses made with fingernails. Share your favorite remedy…and hurry!

This is a practical attention issue, there’s nothing esoteric about it. However, for the most recent research on scratching, go to http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/07/health/07itch.html.