Did I intend to get fired?

It wasn’t my intention not to pay attention on the job…or was it?

The ghastly job seemed to have all my attention. I worried about it; thought about it; dreamed about it; talked about it; stayed late; arrived early and in the end I was fired from it. But what was my intention during that time?

This job was a dead end when I said yes. The first day of work the ‘boss’, the woman who asked me to apply for and then to take the job; who was the mother of my son’s friend, told me we wouldn’t become friends. That we would be working at the same place every day and then some, but we wouldn’t become friends. That was her intention.

My intention in taking the work was to provide income for my family while my husband began a professional transition. My intention was to support his desire to change his life. I had no intention to change my life or the world. My intention was not related to friendship, but it would have been an OK perk on the job to be friendly at least.

So, serendipity found me fired and quickly hired to work at a school for students with ADHD and LD where my intention again was to support my family. This time, however, I found a calling and a life’s work. In the end, I was completely changed and passionate about working in the world of ADHD. My strengths were used to create my job and my weaknesses were otherwise managed. I grew in confidence and stature knowing that in that environment I made a difference.

I’m a born coach, maybe even born again. I was the student and young adult who asked the questions no-one else thought about. That’s what I love – asking the questions whose answers will change your life.

What do you want in a job?
What are your intentions in taking the work?
How will you make a difference in this field?
Is there a future for you with this company?

My story is the story of many job seekers and office workers. If you can’t pay attention it may be because it’s not worth your health and the health of your attention to remain.

What is your attention-to-intention-on-the-job story?

Forgive me, Donald. 

ADD/ADHD Coach for ADDults and Students

I coach clients about ADHD and attention – its utility and function in business and daily life. Using proven tools and personal management techniques with my busy clients, they CREATE more productive LIVES. I’m passionate about the internal arrangement of life, the working thoughts, the architecture of your mind that makes up inspired attention development and design.

I am so excited to announce my new website/blog and brand new brand moniker, “Your Attention Coach“.  As one thing leads to another, over the past several months, I have been refining the message of what I do in my work to reflect a new direction towards a focus on Attention enhancement rather than the fix it mentality which fixes a “deficit”.

Daniel Pink

During this time I have also been reading Daniel Pink’s book, A Whole New Mind, on the importance of right brain dominance in our world today. Pink says more and more emphasis will be placed on individuals who have the ability to create and synthesize messages rather than the old dominance on the bean counters and widget tweakers.

Towards that end I went to see my friend Judi Knight to talk to her about my business cards and ended up right in the right place to not only get my business cards done but also a whole new blog site where I can organize all of my materials related  to the attention enhancement work I do. I am very excited to unveil this site and will be working on adding content to share with clients and their families.

Attention hygiene has run (and/or ruined) some of my life’s decisions. After college, I paid attention to the broader categories of life’s necessities: I considered food, shelter and clothing as my starting point for a career decision. I decided to pay attention to shelter and I was subsequently accepted into a masters’ architecture program. The second year of the program came around and I realized I would have to do another charrette, and it caught my attention that late nighters would be a regular part of my life as an architect. I became an architectural/engineering magazine editor instead, paying attention to my two academic interests.

When my husband proposed to me, I paid attention to the manner in which he did it and still married him. Then over the course of two decades, I paid attention to the way in which he paid attention to me and we are now divorced.

Attention, the fourth of life’s necessities. Research has shown that without attention, infants will not develop normally. People go to great lengths to get attention. Attention may be more important than possessions, but fancy cars and bling get a lot of attention that is enjoyed by their owner. Attention, as an entity, has its own need for attention. What do you do to develop your attention? Attention Development was first suggested to me by Dr. Mel Levine. Dr. Levine requested I use the phrase attention development instead of ADD Coaching to describe my work. And thinking about it has led me to wonder about attention hygiene.

My physical hygiene includes cleanliness and habits of dress, medical visits, choice of diet and exercise. What can be done for my attention hygiene? How does one pay attention to attention, a quality of our personality? An outgrowth of our circumstances. The focus of our pleasure. The admonishment of our parents and partners. PAY ATTENTION! What requires attention? Everything!!!

How is your attention hygiene?

What are you doing right now to cultivate your attention? Can it even be done? How do you cleanse attention? Sherbet is a lovely palate cleanse between courses at a fine restaurant. What kind of cleansing can you use transitioning from one course of attention during the day to another? These are transitional or cleansing moments when we change the focus of attention. Hundreds of transitions occur during the day – physical, emotional, and all are attentional in nature. Some are obvious, like starting the car. Others are automatic, like looking at the source of a loud sound. There are combined transitions that might be called multi-tasking, but the truth is we can only attend one thing at a time, no matter how closely they follow in sequence.

In personal relationships, attention is the strongest at the beginning. Who can get enough of romantic attention? Who doesn’t miss the attention when it wanes? A recent client was spending time with a romantic interest. She would recount hours of time together, but not any intentional movement. You know the movie in theaters, ‘He’s Just Not That Into You?’ She finally realized that she was working to get his attention and decided to stop. Attention is freely given in romance. When it starts to feel like work, it’s no longer romance.

Pay attention to your objects of attention. Put them through your attentional washer and dryer. Clear your mind through attention hygiene. Meditate on a theme of cleansing, like sitting under a waterfall. It’s soothing and refreshing. Your ability to pay attention to what’s important to you will increase.