Archive | April, 2009

Alice Walker’s Garden of Attention


Alice Walker in Her Garden

I love driving on Friday nights in Atlanta’s springtime. Aside from the warm, flowery scents and breezes to enjoy, there are literary and arts events galore to attend. Emory University recently held an evening celebration to honor the poet/activist Alice Walker having shown the wisdom, sense of heritage and mission to preserve ‘unique materials of permanent research value’ of Ms. Walker’s in the Manuscript, Archives and Rare Books Library (MARBL). With her blessings she has donated her complete archives to Emory University for research and study.

Emory University also had the grace to invite the public to share in the honorary evening with a few of Ms. Walker’s favorite people, from her English teacher at Spelman College and her friend Gloria Steinem to the writer who convinced her to let him script her novel into the movie ‘The Color Purple’. An hour after eight different, fluently presented recognitions from city, county and Emory representatives, Ms. Walker took control doing this cute little butterfly thing with her hands on her chest to acknowledge endless applause, looking for the all the world like she’d take flight.

It’s her words that really got me flying. The poetic imagery was delivered with the quiet strength of one used to having people pay attention. The seed of the evening’s theme took root while she shared memories from her new and old poetry. She is a force in creating world peace starting from the years of her involvement in the then young civil rights movement. It’s sad that thieves have stolen her name using it as a website hostage, but in spite of their efforts to control her, she has created www.alicewalkersgarden.com to chronicle her life and passions.

A large pink flower under her collar contrasted with a black dress, a subtle suggestion of an iconic lighting technique used for illuminating the face and suggesting the grace of a saint from below, as if the light of the soul came from both within and below, shining radiant light upward toward her face, like the sun was in her belly. I loved the continuous visually referent garden imagery in her language, a message of her commitment to the world.

There are people who yearn for unbroken things but Ms. Walker penned ‘I will keep broken things – I will keep myself.’ She recognizes the value of what appears broken as fully human, fragile and more precious than a porcelain dish displayed on the wall – never used but beautiful. She believes that saving even one turtle’s life is enough for a human to feel fulfilled and yet she exhorts us to see the possibility of world peace simply because it seems impossible. ‘There is a duty to life,’ she said while recalling a reflection of the Dalai Lama’s about America, ‘that it is a country where people do not seem to love themselves.’ What kind of action can unloved people take?

In the midst of the generous evening’s imagery, I oddly recalled a man from my early twenties who said he had nothing more to talk about, that he had run out of things to share. I yearn for nurturing language and creative vision and mission and passion that moves me to action. Thank God the man knew the limits of his attention and dropped away and Ms. Walker hasn’t yet found her limits. She continues to grow her language, and I had an evening of attentional inspiration about peace  that nurtured me and that inspires me to action. I’m an American who loves myself.

However, practically speaking the next time I go to Glenn Memorial Chapel at Emory University I’m bringing a seat cushion. I will. I love my comfort. I’ve attended events there for over twenty-five years and still I forget they are the hardest pews in history. However, honoring Alice Walker took a little edge off the the physical discomfort for me. Sometimes a little physical ache hurts so good while participating in the care and tending of the garden of peace and love, and attention.

What’s growing in your ‘garden of attention’?

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Eating Disorders and Attention

Weight carries symbolic language; wait; tight; loose; overweight; heavy and flat: it is almost a dialect full of symbols of distraction and of personal and social interpretation. If you pay attention to the weight, what are you not paying attention to? What is weighing you down? Why, your feelings. “Metaphors transform unconscious patterns that hold and reveal deeper truths,” said Dr. Anita Johnston at a workshop Tuesday in Chattanooga, TN at the Center for Eating Disorders at Focus Healthcare of Tennessee. When your attention is more about being flat than being self-attentive, then what is abandoned in your soul? Carl Jung said that metaphor is the healing symbol on the emotional level.

What does this have to do with attention? Everything! It’s all about mind/body connection – and our ability to be fully in our body and fully attentive all at the same time. Dr. Johnston promotes the conceptual use of mythology and symbolic language as an entry point to consciousness. And consciousness is an entry point to attention. We need our consciousness in order to pay attention to the world within and the world without. She reminded us that in eating disorders there is a point of departure from full consciousness, often a trauma is the distraction to full attention.

Symbolically the disorder is like filling your home with many flags – ‘the flag is a symbol of the experience of being free, but you’re not more free because you have many flags’ Dr. Johnston explained. The eating disorder is like the number of flags, it is the symbol of nourishment but the resulting fat/thinness does not mean you’re more/less nourished.

How do you get someone back in their body? Use laughter to disconnect the Left Brain monologue long enough to feel again. Feelings are waves of energy said Dr. Johnston, suggesting the metaphor of water, the language of one who lives in Hawaii. Feelings pass like waves on the shore.

This body/mind disconnection is like a war against the body and the soul of the person.Dr. Johnston reminded us that we humans have a body, a mind and emotions, yet we are much bigger than the sum of all the parts. The body becomes the vehicle to take me places. The mind is the co-pilot and emotions help me understand all the parts. Recalling the Sorcerer’s Apprentice in Fantasia, don’t fall asleep while all the brooms (Left Brain monologue) work to drown you (keep you under or over-nourished). Feed your attention.

 

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Training for Distraction

Take that pile upstairs while you’re on your way up.‘  ‘Don’t leave the room empty-handed.’ These two admonishments were companions in my childhood home. ‘Take this while you’re going that way.’ I guess I can keep remembering the many ways I was trained in distraction. My favorite is ‘Don’t think about yourself – think about other people’s needs.’ Whew – that was distracting information for an evolving sense of self. ‘Can you drop this off at her house if you’re in the neighborhood?‘ Sure, it’s only a few miles/minutes out of my way. ‘Can you return this for me – I don’t want to go back to that store.’ Yes, I’ll take responsibility for that.

And that’s my distracted childhood environment in a nutshell. It was all delivered day after day with a kiss and a smile and a badge of being a good child to my mom. It was different with Daddy. ‘Can’t you see what’s in front of your face?’ he would say coming up behind me when I couldn’t see what was in front of my face that he had sent me to retrieve. It was either momentary blindness or paralytic fear of his anger that completely blocked from my view whatever it was he wanted. I was trained in both physical and emotional distraction.

I remember asking one of my kids to get something for me that we all knew I was capable of retrieving on my own. I didn’t get anywhere with them. My Irish grandmother would tell us cousins to get something for her because our feet were younger and healthier than hers. But my kids knew my feet and legs were quite healthy, thank you very much. Have I trained them to be distracted, too? 

I believe we were born distracted and then endlessly drilled to develop it more fully, helplessly/naively hoping that someone in the world around us had a better handle on attention than we did. (Excuse me while I pick up the letter to take to the mailbox. I’ll just take that cup to the sink while I’m on my way out and maybe stop and pet the dogs which reminds me I have to buy more food and what’s that collar doing under the bureau? It sure is dirty – I better take it to the laundryroom…

Will I ever make it to the mailbox – oh, well there goes the mailman and my neighbor Jeannie is outside so we can talk about our flowers and…

What was the name of this blog? 

What’s your intention today to stay attentive and feel good about it?

Maureen

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Thriving with Attention

 

long-haired boys in white raincoats

long-haired boys in white raincoats

Twenty minutes of sunshine and fresh air (with a little pollen) and three dogs are walked. They aren’t winded even though it’s been weeks since I’ve walked them. My boys thrive with attention. They don’t ask for much more than a daily routine of caring attention. The more attention they receive the more content they appear.

My boys, Ollie and Trapper (the third is a visiting granddog Hondo, not shown in picture) have the run of a forested backyard but they’re really house dogs. Some of the attention they receive is my watching them. Trapper – the black one and alpha – really likes for me to watch him run off the deck in to the woods and he’ll stay in place looking at me and waiting for my complete attention and encouragement before he takes off.

My daughter Ellie was about six when she stood on the diving board at the pool, shouting for me to watch her. I watched and watched. Then she said ‘tell me to dive in, Mommy’. But I didn’t. I thought she would do it just out of sheer fun and adventure. Ever have an attention moment that got by you? That was one moment she and I both remember. I spent years after shouting from the sidelines of her sports events to the point where she told me to stop. I have watched her graduate from college and get married (with a more demure shout and a few tears). So now, even at 24 years old I fully support her in everything she wants – she still wants my attention. It’s different in nature and in frequency now and I have the boys to encourage to jump. She’s thriving because of a foundation of attention that I finally learned how to give.

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Do Friends tell Friends ‘You Have ADHD’?

Yesterday I ran in to two ‘old’ friends at lunch. We talked about our children, what’s happened to each of us in the past few years and what we’re doing now. At one point one woman casually commented that ‘she had ADD’ as part of the conversation flow. When it got to my turn to share my new business (to them), that I coach people about attention and that many of my clients live with ADHD, they had lots of questions, especially the ‘big’ one: ‘Hey, do you think I have ADHD?’

It’s one thing to tell a friend there’s a green thing in their teeth but something completely different to say ‘you have ADHD’. Early in the game I did suggest to a friend that she probably lived with ADHD. I was so excited about what I was learning that I couldn’t help but apply it to everyone. It was way better than sharing a cookie. It was life changing information! But believe me she was not happy that I shared with her my joy at her disability.

So among other things I said ‘There are three markers of an attention disorder – inattentiveness, impulsivity and distractibility not counting hyperactivity.’ And I let them take it from there, all of us laughing at all the ways they were impulsive and distracted. What I didn’t say was that I’m attracted to people with ADHD because I live with it. Like is attracted to like. They concluded that it didn’t matter to them anyway because they weren’t having to make a living. And that’s where it stands with anyone – it’s only a problem to live with ADHD if it interferes with your life. But it can make you creative and impulsively available to family and friends and it is a source of fun and laughter, too.

What’s your favorite ADD moment?

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